We dig the name ‘roly poly’ because it sounds as much a weight-gain alert as it does the description of a lovely rolled-up baked pudding. This old fashioned fave really is bloody delicious, straight-forward to conjure and is something everyone totally loves. It entails fashioning a scone-style dough, rolling it out, spreading over jam (we used marmalade here but use your favourite jam by all means), sprinkling that with dried fruit and a chopped apple, spices or whatever, then rolling it up like a Swiss roll and lobbing it into a baking dish. We like dousing it with sugar, butter and boiling water prior to cooking as this forms a gooey sauce-style situation while the pudding bakes, making the whole thing even more of a threat to overall health than you initially suspected. It’s an old-school pudding to make when the Give-A-Shitometer is firmly fixed at zero and we promise you won’t regret making it a bit. Every single ‘this-is-so-wrong-but-it-tastes-so-right’ mouthful will spark absolute and unspeakable joy, and not in any ways Marie Kondo could have foreseen. Break out the Anchor custard and Tip Top vanilla if you’re feeling reckless because life is short. So roly poly hard, dudes.

SERVES 6

200g (1⅓ cups) plain flour, plus extra, for dusting 

1¼ tsp baking powder

75g chilled unsalted butter, chopped

125ml (½ cup) milk

sweet orange marmalade

1 small apple, finely chopped

55g (⅓ cup) currants

custard, to serve

Sauce

60ml (¼ cup) golden syrup

180ml (¾ cup) boiling water

4 tsp butter

4 tsp lemon juice

Preheat the oven to 180˚C.

Combine the flour and baking powder in a bowl. Add the butter, then, using your fingers, rub into the flour until it resembles coarse bread crumbs. Add the milk, then stir with a fork to form a sticky dough. Turn the dough out onto a floured surface, press it out a little using your hands, then roll it out until it measures a rectangle about 24 x 34cm. Spread thinly with marmalade, leaving a 1cm border. Scatter over the apple and currants, then, working from a longer side, roll up like a swiss roll to form a log. Seal the ends, then use your hands to gently push the logs in a bit so they measure about 27cm. Place in a baking dish. 

For the sauce, melt everything together in a small saucepan and bring to the boil. Pour into the dish, then bake for 35-40 minutes or until the roly poly is risen and golden and the sauce is bubbling and thickened. Serve in slices, with custard and the sauce spooned over.